pmdd has a gun and it's trying to kill me

I texted my roommate two days ago to apologize to her for my distance. She told me earlier this week that she felt as if I was pulling away. The two of us have always been close, but during the events of the last two months, I’ve found it difficult to be an active participant in anyone’s life besides my own. I said my sorrys and told her not to worry because I was feeling like “my old self again” which was a complete lie.

Truthfully, I only tell people I’m feeling better when I’m in a dire straight, as a last-stitch effort to hopefully put something in motion as a call-out to any powerful entities that may be listening and might feel generous enough to spare me.

“I’m feeling better” is never a statement, it’s almost always a prayer.